Words and Stuff.

Selling

2007-06-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

The art of selling is an affront to mine gentler, more refined sensibilities. Sales are a bad word but sales will put food on my plate and shoes on mine feet. Somebody must do it, I just wish that somebody wasn't me.

I ever tell you I wrote for the Rolling Stone? Yeah well.

Oh Half-truths III

2007-04-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

Goodspeed wrote: "Thank you for your note. I saw your letter to the editor earlier in the week. I’m not sure when you had your off-the-record chat with the NEVERYOUMIND*, but the situation in northern Uganda has been in flux.There was a significant drop in “night commuters” last year, when the peace talks first started. People began to move out of the large DP camps to return to their homesteads and life did begin to return to “normal” for the first time in 20 years. Unfortunately, when the peace talks stalemated and broke down in December, the situation began to change. There was an increase in “night commuters” and people began to return to the larger camps.
Any number of NGOs that are active on a daily basis in the region will tell you this."

Goodspeed went on to name a few of his sources, individuals and organizations.

I was impressed he responded to me in the detail he did and my respect for him has grown.

He's correct in his characterization of conflicts in general. The reading I've done tells me conflict is constantly in flux, "front lines" change and shift, things flare up, things cool down. As such what one can say about what area today could change in an hour or day or month or what have you. I'd completely forgotten the nature of conflict and as such, am glad he reminded me.

I'm still waiting on my source to confirm what Goodspeed sources tell him as I'm still skeptical. I just don't trust NGOs anymore.

But here's the deal: regardless of whether or not night commuters still exist in northern Uganda the fact is the conflict there has produced death on a grand and boring scale. Night commuters are sexy, an easy selling point. People starving in camps? Not so much.

It's a damn shame NGOs and people who care have to sell, but such is this world.

Oh Half-truths II

2007-04-27T06:36:00.000-07:00

Goodspeed responded to my letter.

I may stand corrected.

More to come.

Moron vs. Moron

2007-04-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

So dude was a bit of a stoner, or okay, a heavy drug-user and he went to war to document it. Sounds like Anthony Loyd. Wrong, try Pat Dollard.

Perhaps that's a little mean, but when you're being touted as the right's answer to Michael Moore...I mean, can't you aim a little higher?

Anyways, an honest Jackass is more admirable than either of those to politically polar fucks.

Oh Half-truths

2007-04-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

Re: What price peace in Africa, Peter Goodspeed, April 23, 2007
While it's heartening to see Uganda's peace process get some press, it'd be a little more encouraging if the article in question forwarded something both factual and thoughtful.

The "phenomenon known as "night commuters" in which tens of thousands of children trek to nearby cities" Goodspeed writes of is no more, actually. Anyone who's been to Gulu in the last year – never mind someone who lives there – knows this to be true. It hasn't been factual for quite some time which I learned firsthand when I traveled to Gulu whilst shooting a story. Selfishly, I was disappointed to learn Gulu was no longer dangerous and the LRA was for the most part across the borders in the Democratic Republic of Congo or the southern Sudan. As such, the threat is virtually gone and any remaining night commuters do so largely out of habit, and fare better than any of the 1.6 million displaced peoples left to rot in the camps. Why Goodspeed repeats this semi-truth cynically perpetuated by World Vision and NGO's is beyond me. You'd think peace and justice would sell themselves.

Furthermore, the truth of the Matoput ritual – despite its many, occasionally understandably desperate supporters – is that while it maintains the façade of being an African solution to an African problem, is that it's simply not designed for a criminal who's guilty of such mass crimes. The ceremony is designed for neighbourhood type conflicts, for face to face meetings between perpetrator and victims. Even if Kony were convinced to take part in such a ceremony, it'd be impossible to rally everyone touched by his violence.

The Post ought to do a little more research before publishing such a piece. Is it any wonder people are lost on African affairs when a story that changed significantly a year ago is still reported as though it's happening? Perhaps we should continue reporting on Katrina as though it happened yesterday? What of the people living in the Astrodome?

Get Up

2007-03-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

Perhaps you live downtown and fancy yourself cultured. You eat ethnic food and are the epitome of multiculturalism*. You're quite world-wise, giving money to NGO's, scorn America, are above religion, have an ear for the underdog (in your own cliched definition) and never, ever drive. You hate what 905ers are doing to the city and talk about this long and hard while eating shitty Chinese food.

Yes, shitty chinese food. That's pretty much what you're guarranteed to eat downtown Toronto, shitty Chinese food. You're a step up from small-town Ontario or New York City that way, with your Chinaman's gwailo offerings.

And here it is, sweet vindication in the pages of Toronto Life: The Burbs or Bust.

Forget downtown, Chinatown wears the played out crown.

*Eating food from some other country doesn't count as culture, it counts as eating, period.

Porn and Pussy Nerdery

2007-03-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

Re: Porn's philosopher king

"Pressing the play button is an admission of sexual failure: I can't sleep with an attractive woman, so I guess I'll watch some other guy do it."

For all his thoughtfulness National Post columnist Jon Kay seems to agree with Ron Jeremy's assertion "Let's be honest - people get bored." Following Kay's line of logic we can see one ought to seek out and procure pus-pardon, partners, in full neanderthal conquering mode.

Sure, porn is depressing. There's a moral and pragmatic arguement for that. Moralists like the acclaimed Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family approve of masturbation for its inherent safety-valve qualities. Grumpy novelists like Norman Mailer abhor onanism for its wasting of seed while Kay chafes due to its admission of defeat. Kay's stance, essentially, is a modified intellectualism born of 80s movies such as Porky's, where man is not man unless he's well, gotten laid. Which really isn't much of a position at all, Kay's missionary for 80s moralism.

Not to split hairs, but failure would be the inability to rise to even a solitary occasion. What Kay terms failure is other people's training.

Selby Jr.'s World

2007-02-22T15:44:00.000-08:00

The Chechyn's who people executed Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaya's book (above) read like the characters in a Hubert Selby Jr. novel. The army, salivating and malevolent dogs. The Chechyns, bony and soot covered victims surviving on wit alone, mere steps away from the dust from which they were created.

Where Selby's characters always seemed to be 1 step away from reality, Politkovskaya's are the truth.

Where I'm Going

2007-02-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

World Bodies are Jokes

2007-01-28T18:28:00.000-08:00

It's not that world bodies are unnecessary, it's that they frequently come close to becoming a mockery of their ideals.

Case in point:
In a move that will leave the African Union helmed by a genocidal state, Sudan's president, Omar Hassan al-Bashir is ready to steer the AU to happier times.

Kinda like leaving the fox guarding the henhouse. (Farm metaphors....err....)

Let's hope good sense will prevail as this will only speed the complete annihilation of Darfur.

Happy....

2007-01-15T19:55:00.000-08:00

Oh happy, happy day. Islam is for peace the same way Saddam was.

In other news, Bush conceded Iraq was more stable under Saddam. Yes and there was probably less overweight Jews under Hitler, which is to say this rhetorical point is nothing and he should have conceded it eons ago.

...America is becoming so paranoid it hurts. It really does. Conspiracy theorists south of the border are probably working themselves into a frenzy with this one Canadian coins bugged.

Irony, Post 9-11

2007-01-06T10:36:00.000-08:00

When a dictator dies it can't be construed as a bad thing.

That said, Christopher Hitchens is correct in his observation "the only character with a rag of dignity in the whole scene is the father of all hangmen, Saddam Hussein himself."

Chechnya - The Dirty War

2007-01-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

Here's the full doc, a must watch.

Red Dawn assertions aside, apparently the Cold War is still on. http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2006/12/26/hampel-gone.html?ref=rss and genocide generally don't indicate peace.

*while generally a weak arguement, Russia appears to be hellbent on proving a State can actually create terrorists.

Of Course.

2007-01-05T19:02:00.000-08:00

Finally, Al Qaeda has responded to the troubles of Somalia.

"You must ambush, mine, raid and [carry out] martyrdom campaigns so that you can wipe them out,"Ayman al-Zawahri said in a posting on some islamo-facist website (as reported by Al Jazeera - not the magazine of the same name).

No rest for anyone, jihadists included. Holidays are over.

*Bloggers Fear Insurgency is a great headline, no? Almost as bright as french socialists.

Remember: Soccer - like anything fun - is for infidels.

Castro Locked Cuba and Putin Locked Chechnya.

2007-01-01T09:27:00.000-08:00

Castro's no Putin though.

If you check Human Rights Watch you'll notice the posts regarding Chechnya are over a year old. That's because you can't get in or out of Chechnya.

The UK's Channel 4 aired The Dirty War in July of 2005. Trust things haven't improved.

The Dirty War - Chechnya - part 1

Conspiracy Central

2006-12-31T09:45:00.000-08:00

Bush did it with Iraq. NGO's do it with their crisis's (no links, I'm saving my thunder). And I just did it with the title.

Conspiracy theorists do more than oversell a point, they just make shit up to explain that which is hard to believe, or that which differs from their world view.

A good mix of conspiracy theory, news and ugly rhetoric is alJazeera Magazine. At least they have the courtesy of labeling things conspiracies.

Sample headline:
"The stupidity of the Baghdad puppets beggars belief."
...and I thought my rhetoric was juvenile.

CBC, wrong. Wrong.

2006-12-30T09:36:00.000-08:00

"I think we can see a pattern here: Iraq, Palestine, Somalia. They don't want an Islamic state," the young Somali expat said from a London internet cafe. Thank the CBC for this wonderful bit of news.

It's not so much that the opinion is wrong (it is, somewhat), it's that it was presented without any juxtaposition or context.

Why it's wrong:
Iraq was not an Islamic state under Saddam.
"They"? The rallying cry of self-pity is rather old. That weak liberal-minded peoples would seek to encourage it with this ideological drivel is worse. An expat has earned their ignorance, wherever it might fall.

Why it's correct:
You're correct. Who wants to see a theocratic state? A Margaret Atwood looking world?

Saddam Hussein, Dead.

2006-12-30T09:15:00.000-08:00

So Saddam Hussein has been executed (and here, here).

While a variety of people - HRW and The Economist por ejemplo, find it cruel, inhumane or unjust - make agreeable arguments though the simple truth is this: A genocidal dictator was executed. This is justice.

If anyone ever attempted to find execution as their end, it was Saddam Hussein. I shan't bother listing the litany of facts against him - read Samantha Power's book A Problem from Hell: America and the Age of Genocide for the case against him.

Neither celebration nor hand-wringing (or weeping and wailing for that matter) is appropriate.

Hey, even dictators dance:

Survival Tactics

2006-12-28T09:41:00.000-08:00

Islamist gunmen have left their posts in Mogadishu, blending into the civilian population as transition government forces approach the city.

Nobody believes this is the end of trouble in Somalia.

On a related note dude's book (picture below) is a good backgrounder. Apparently he returned to Somalia a while ago to research his next.

Help Us Help Ourselves

2006-12-27T09:17:00.000-08:00

...is essentially the message in Sudan. Sudan 'backs UN plan on Darfur' is the headline at the BBC. Yes, please help us stop ourselves from killing predominantly Black Africans in Darfur.

It's not like the resolution actually has teeth either.

Am I the only one who finds this funny?

Learn more here and here.

2006-12-26T11:05:00.000-08:00

This is the post-Christmas funk:

Christmas - Beatlefied (Ritmono) or otherwise - is about Love, straight or mystic.

I'm really not sure how the aforementioned thoughtlines match up with this, but uh, surely there's something to it.

Y'know, letting people know they're special.

Merry Christmas.

2006-12-24T06:55:00.000-08:00

Some Guys Have all the Fun

"A hardline Somali Islamist has called on foreign Muslims to take up arms in a 'holy war' against Ethiopia," reports today's Guardian. It must be a festive and giving spirit that would prompt people to make sacrificial moves.

Anyways, Somalia looks like it will get messy again. Does it need to?

Of note - Burberry lining and scarf, rev.
chic at its finest.

2006-12-20T16:40:00.000-08:00

"Sudan must allow a team of UN personnel into Darfur and formally accept an international force for the area by January, or face unspecified US steps next year, a US special envoy has said." Well, that's something, right?

Wrong.

The ethnic cleansing in question has been going on since forever. The nice part about this story is you can be slow to catch it and guess what, it's still there.

Again, if you think people who do bad things sit around sweating their deeds and just waiting to confess, wrong. Spin began a long time ago. Any nation that'd seek to intervene is a neo-colonial power. It's not just homegrown morons thinking that either. Thank-you Khartoum.

Whatever.

Oppression got an AK.

2006-12-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

When did it become a bad thing to eliminate the Taliban? When did people start forgetting that reconstruction can't really happen so long as there's somebody waiting to destroy whatever you're trying to build?

Oakland Ross breaks down separating the sheep from the fascistic (my words) Taliban.

I'm not the only one who thinks it's worthwhile. My man Dan had to agree (from Pound, May 23, 2004).

2006-12-18T14:02:00.000-08:00

"Faced with mounting inequality and rising street protests, China is turning to Canada as a source of ideas on how to defuse ethnic conflicts and build a social safety net," is the lead in today's Globe.

Do you think the politicians in China know Canada's biggest weakness is our overwhelming ability to stop and congratulate ourselves for multiculturalism and forget everything else that's going on?

The piece, riddled with diplomatic bullshit, lacks balance. Try this for context.

Question, how's your Uighur heart?

Okay, so Falun Gong's are the most popular organs. I'm sure Uighurs' are still quite nice.

2006-12-17T05:21:00.000-08:00

War - duh duh - what is it good for?

Absolutely nothing sounds better than good books, but the latter is true.

The list doesn't house a whole lot in the way of new reading suggestions, but does skip some obvious choices.

2006-12-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

So what is peace? What exactly is this thing we're imagining?

Is peace the absence of guns and violence? Is is said absence instituted by a dictatorship or some sort of fascistic regime, say, of the sort that's taken over Somalia and made drivers follow simple driving rules?

Was pre-invasion Iraq a country of peace?

I mean, that's not even up for discussion. If that's peace then you're already lost. You'd believe the Mormon technique for masturbation avoidance is the way to go.

2006-12-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

Separated at Birth:

Malcolm Gladwell

Steve Powers

Kid of Kid 'n Play

2006-12-14T16:50:00.000-08:00

"A powerfully addictive drug, cocaine usually makes the user feel euphoric and energetic. Common health effects include heart attacks, respiratory failure, strokes, and seizures. Large amounts can cause bizarre and violent behavior."

It's also been known to wreak havoc on one's judgement, turn otherwise tolerable people into chattering morons with "informed" opinions on everything and yes, occasionally kill people (much to everyone's surprise).

Cocaine also brought us this:

Say merci,

2006-12-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

What was the defining moment for Chechyn rebels in terms of crossing the line? I mean, let's ignore Putin's assertion that they're terrorists in the same vein as Al Qaeda, but have they become more militant and lost any of their validity as freedom fighters?

Has that happened?

If not, how long before it does, Militant Islam swelling their ranks as Moscow locks Chechnya down and the world looks the other way (if only because it's hella locked).

2006-12-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

When homeboy (David Duke) is a speaker, considered a researcher well, your little conference is in trouble.

"Experts."

2006-12-11T15:47:00.000-08:00

Christopher Hitchens points out the obvious in a review of a recent Stanford-medical-school study, that men generally wield their vastly superior humour in order to secure the affections of attractive women.

Novel.

Anyways, Hitchens, whom I happen to think is brilliant in general, and correct specifically regards to his feelings on militant islam is actually kinda humourless. Some kid created a Hitchens profile on Myspace which was kind of funny just because it existed.

It wasn't incredibly well done, which is to say it wasn't fooling anybody. Then someone - I'm guessing, some sycophantic little prick, the type who shows up and cheers at Hitchens' readings or debates or at political functions for that matter (like say, Liberal Convention, let's dance!) - someone must have reported the kid 'cause the profile is down.

Now that's weak.

2006-12-09T09:32:00.000-08:00

Dating and distracting myself.

2006-12-09T09:21:00.000-08:00

Noted Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaia was executed October 7, 2006, presumably for her reporting on Chechnya.

This war has only been going on for oh, close to 15 years. Online ground zero for research on the Chechen conflict appears to be the Kavkaz Center.

The videos section will ruin your sleep.

Note: Putin would have you believe all terrorists are the same. Clearly, they are not, shouts of allah akbar aside.

2006-12-08T07:04:00.000-08:00

An absolutely ridiculously
hot follow-up to 45.33, linked to by dude .

John Ibbitson's comment in today's Globe - which you can't read unless you're registered or a subscriber (typically Canadian in its tightness, comparable papers south of the border don't do this) is interesting for its forthrightness. He's saying social conservatives - Christians - need to get back to saving souls and helping the needy and poor, and leave the rest to Caesar.

I happen to agree, though it's a joke to use the Great Commission ('go ye into all the world and preach the gospel') to single Christians out. Christians, sadly, are as much a special interest group as anybody else.

2006-12-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

I need to stop reading stories like this over my morning cappucino and Nutella'd toast. It's just not healthy for my constitution.

At any rate, I have nothing articulate to say about it, it's just the type of story that prompts lumpy throats.

2006-12-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

Is Canada Peaceful?

I happen to think we're peaceful. Yes, this not in spite of, but including our presence in Afghanistan.

Why?

Because we have a relatively (when compared to countries in the hemisphere) generous welfare system, which I suspect would be considered fighting poverty (though I fear it doesn't, in practice).

Further thoughts on my beloved country:
Canada is a relatively pussy country and we'd generally prefer to chew our own arms off before offending anybody.

So while our actions are peaceful, our collective mindset veers more towards incredibly passive aggressive which, I'm sure you'll agree, really isn't that peaceful.

At any rate, enough accurate flippancies, Somalia's popping up again as militant islamists introduce "peace" to the country and Mogadishu in particular.

Canadians might remember this - war is war, valid or debatable, united or uh, singular.

2006-12-05T20:23:00.000-08:00

The first time I saw this pic I found it somewhat humourous, the Warholian type picture reaching for Trudeau status, you know, a return to Liberal domination in a funky setting.

Ignatieff never did go swimming for cameras, never let his wife (is he married?) hang out with rockstars and catch STDs.

Oh well.

And Los Liberales have settled on the constantly bemused and red-faced Dion, the loyal foot-soldier.

It's politics mang, foot soldiers? Loyal?

Oh Lordy.

2006-07-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

This piece , linked to by Arts & Letters Daily , is probably meant to be contrarian. How contrariarian is siding with the majority of people who felt "Dont' Worry Be Happy" was wack?

People who dislike happy people aren't limited to New York City. No, you can find them anywhere the human species is still breathing, from Smiths' fans to the Taliban - we hate us some smileys.

2006-07-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, the last words on Zidane. If there was no racial slur by Materazzi and the sole reason dude head-butted him was due to the questioning of his mother and sister's alleged loose morals well...

C'mon. Old world machismo needs to die. It's the equivalent of the metrosexual male, it's a stupid fantasy.

Plus it's kinda gay.

Seriously, man up.

2006-07-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

With everybody fleeing
Lebanon it looks like a desirable place to be.

No, not because of its natural beauty
...which is certainly compelling, more so due to Chris Hedges' well-coined title War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning .

2006-07-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

An end to smugness ?

Doubtful, to question one of the central tenet's of Canada's identity - that is, our superiority as tolerant, loving and accepting people - might topple our very country. (And what might remain then?)

At any rate, dude should be your new hero.

2006-07-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

"Across the Muslim world, it seems, misery loves comedy," and wouldn't you know? It would seem a Jew's to blame. Thank-you Mr. Brooks.

2006-07-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Vapid and empty. That's celebrity journalism and no there's no need for another story explaining the simple and lamentable truth. I mean, these people don't even care about the words they're committing to print, it's like absolutely nothing matters to these people.

I wrote some useless profiles for a few mags back in the day and they all sucked, my words sucked, their words sucked.

Rule? Celebrity journalism is inexcusable after the writer has reached 25 years of age, after that you should be able to do it (lie) in your sleep.

2006-07-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

I never really liked acid much. The one and only time I dropped it just sped my heart up like too many Dexedrin. Of course on the other side you get the permanent head trip a la Pink Floyd founder Syd Barrett .

Okay, so LSD probably exacerbated an existing condition. Regardless, a loss.

Which reminds me, does anyone care about ODB anymore?

2006-07-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

Zinedine Zidane head-butted his way into almost every headline around the world this past Sunday.

While much has been made of what might have been said with an accompanying spike in employment for lip readers , it's this humble writer's opinion that we're missing the point.

Yes, Materazzi probably muttered some horrible insult. Yes racism exists. Yes it killed France's chance of winning after a lacklustre second half by Italy.

So what. Placement is the key in this. Observe the dilligence, given the opportunity to land a truly debilitating blow to Materazzi's not-so romanesque beak, Zidane chose the chest, as a gentleman would.

2006-07-10T17:51:00.000-07:00

Joseph Kony is bad for Uganda, bad for children and bad for Sudan's rep.

Kony inspired these kicks and their text.

2006-07-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

The Toronto Star asks "Are we all going to be latte?" and picks two triple creams (in the parlance of Tim Horton's) to illustrate their point.

Very possibly, though try telling anyone outside of a city that lattes are good.

On a related note, has the Star improved immensely since getting all the Post's fallout?

2006-03-30T08:32:00.000-08:00

Charles Taylor, like Tupac and Nixon and any one else who ever wallowed in self pity believes he’s misunderstood .

This might have been a farewell dear friends type of photo, before he jetted Liberia for the welcome confines of Nigeria where he could continue to conduct things.

But I digress. He’s been captured and now the ideological battling commences. No doubt he will find some defender who will argue that perhaps he’s not misunderstood but that, regardless of his crimes, there’s a bigger criminal.

This is all beside the point, however. Charles Taylor loves him some table-tennis. As such, this is how he should be tried. In an embodiement of the spiritual principle of keeping it simple I shall go hand to hand with him in a table-tennis battle, best of seven.

In my employ will be several sweatshop laborers whose very presence will intimidate Mr. Taylor.

Bottom line: I win, he goes to jail.
I lose, he gets dealt with in the same fashion as his predecessors.

Fair is fair.